Earth Boys Are Easy
by Thea
Summary: Sekito notices that Matsumoto hasn't been feeling well lately...


Earth Boys Are Easy

**Before reading, you might want to know...**  
This story is based on the Shinesman MANGA, not the anime. What do you need to know? In the manga (which is 9 volumes long, and much more detailed in plot than the hour-long anime, though no less funny), there is no Princess Shiina. It's Sasaki-kun/Prince Hope who has the whole "love you or kill you" thing about poor Matsumoto/Red (and if you like slash, they make a great couple). There's also a different potential female love interest for Matsumoto, but that's not relevant here.

The story takes place in "parody time" since there's no real time period during the series when it could have occurred. (Thank goodness.) I have never seen the movie Earth Girls Are Easy, so there's no connection. This story actually started with the punchline, which appeared in my head one day and was too good not to use, so then I had to think up a story to use it in.

**TITLE:** Earth Boys Are Easy  
**AUTHOR:** Thea  
**FINISHED:** February 11 2001

Matsumoto Hiroya looked decidedly green this morning, Sekito thought. The usual team from Right Trading was visiting the offices of Science Electric on a weekly basis for their latest project, and this was the third week in a row that Matsumoto was feeling under the weather. Even Alec-ouji -- Morikawa, Sekito reminded himself -- had commented on it this time, giving Sekito a cryptic look before leaving the meeting in Sekito's hands.

When this meeting, as the last two had been, was interrupted by Matsumoto-kun hurriedly excusing himself and dashing out of the room, while Hayami-san and Yamadera-san exchanged worried glances, Sekito realized what Morikawa had meant.

A few minutes later he returned, looking more pale than green now. Sekito offered him a glass of water, which he accepted gratefully.

"Anou, Matsumoto-kun... how long have you been ill?"

Matsumoto took a sip of the water, swallowed, and replied, "It's nothing serious. Just on and off for a few weeks." Sip. Swallow. Sip.

"Have you considered the possibility that you might be pregnant?"

Matsumoto sprayed water. Since he was speechless, it was Yamadera who spluttered, "How could he be pregnant? He's a man!" while Hayami grew a sizeable sweatdrop.

Sekito blinked. "Earth men don't get pregnant?" Earthlings really were strange people.

"Are you telling me that men from Voice /do/?" Yamadera again; Matsumoto was still recovering, it seemed.

"Of course they do." Sekito paused for a beat, then added, "My apologies, Matsumoto-kun."

"Eheheh... don't worry about it." Matsumoto was looking better, at least, if somewhat wary of Sekito.

Sekito nodded reflexively, and was about to steer the conversation back to work, when something occurred to him. "I wonder if it'd be possible if you had..." Erk. Out loud.

Three inquiring gazes fixed on him, and Hayami finally broke the silence. "If he had what?"

Sekito laughed nervously. "Er... if you had... hadsexwithamanfromVoice."

Hayami grew another sweatdrop. Yamadera stared at him the way one might stare at a train wreck, looking like nothing so much as one of Ono-san's stuffed fish with his open mouth and bulging eyes.

"I mean, in theory, not Matsumoto-kun specifically," Sekito said quickly. "Anyway, since it's a moot point, let's get back to..." He trailed off as his gaze fell upon Matsumoto, who was absolutely white. "It /is/ a moot point, isn't it?" He was going to get himself in trouble and ruin the deal if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

All of the blood returned abruptly to Matsumoto's face. "SEKI-SAN!" he protested indignantly, then he slumped in his chair. "I don't want to talk about it." Hayami's sweatdrop was now large enough to obscure his head, and Yamadera's train wreck gaze had shifted to Matsumoto.

Sekito was beginning to get a Titanic-sized sinking feeling. "Tell me it wasn't Hope-ouji."

Matsumoto's eyes widened, but he was already too red-faced to blush any more as he blurted out, "He told me that seeing his bare skin meant he either had to love me or kill me! He said it was a royal law!" before ducking his head to avoid seeing the incredulous stares of his coworkers.

Sekito just shook his head, "And you believed him?"

Please see my author profile for more stories I've written, a link to my website (with stuff I haven't posted here), and other information.

Persons considering reviewing this story should note that neither I, nor anyone else, will have their opinions about this story changed by reviews expressing dislike of my choice of pairing, or what genders I choose to match up together. People who don't mind that kind of thing still won't mind, and people who do mind ought to be able to tell from the notes at the top that they shouldn't read this. On the other hand, I'm happy to receive any other sort of comments about what you liked or didn't like about this story.


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